#TenantStories: Guadalupe’s Testimonio
Guadalupe's eyes had been on her cup of coffee for a while, but her mind wandered elsewhere, away from the rising aromatic steam. Like every day, her main concern was finding a permanent job, one where you don’t feel adrift and always wonder how you’re going to pay the rent. That constant anguish was overwhelming and exhausting, and sometimes that same anxiety led her to depression, but Guadalupe knew that she could not give up or lock herself in her house to suffer in misery. Her children needed food and a roof.
It was not easy for her to be employed full-time and with a stable job, since being a single mother of two minors is not easy at all; and even more so when one of those children needs special care and must be taken to therapy, constantly. Since her divorce in 2016 Guadalupe was left alone to take care of her family and had to make a lot of sacrifices to do so. She had to overcome obstacles and uncertainty, especially in struggling with the physical and emotional traumas that domestic violence left on her and her children. Low self-esteem and other psychological complexes detracted from her sense of self-worth as a woman and as a human being, since her ex-husband belittled Guadalupe to such an extent that she ended up believing his words.
Escaping an Abuser
For almost twenty years Guadalupe's life was one of great suffering. She was beaten and verbally abused by her husband. Her children witnessed it all, and as they grew up, they became terrified of their father. Guadalupe remembers those bitter days with tears in her eyes. At that time, she was a submissive woman, dominated by terror, and she never dared to defend herself. She feared for her life and that of her little ones, because if this violent man was willing beat her so brutally, and even in front of her children, what more was he capable of doing?
That nightmare lived on for many years, those hellish days and nights when her husband returned home, both she and her children trembled with panic and wanted to disappear. One day, Guadalupe finally made the decision to leave him. She squeezed all of her fear into a fist, raised her hand and came out ready to denounce him. And she did. From then on, her life changed, and although she found herself alone facing the world in a foreign country, she knew she had done the right thing.
Fortunately, she found emotional and psychological support, and thanks to the food stamps provided by the government, neither she nor her children went hungry. However, getting to that point was difficult, because it can always take years to take the first step. For those of us outside of the situation, it is easy to have an opinion and say that the battered woman can simply flee from the place where the violence lives, but it is not that simple. The psychological ties in a woman who suffers domestic violence are so strong and deep, that only with help and understanding, with love and empathy can they be broken.
At forty years old, Guadalupe Camarillo knows that she still has a long road ahead of her, as she has two children who depend on her. Her eldest son was deported to Mexico in 2017, when he was twenty-one years old, and since then she has lived with the anguish of having him far away and alone in the border city of Tijuana. She is terrified by all the news he hears about that city and its dangers, and she prays for her son to be well every day. Her son has no family or a home in Tijuana, and thinking about his life on the streets makes her break down.
Family separation
Guadalupe is aware that she cannot do much to help him because she herself cannot leave the US, although her papers are already being processed due to a special visa for undocumented people who experience domestic violence. She understands that her son must get ahead, must work, and must take responsibility. She also accepts that it is possible that he might have become addicted to drugs, which breaks her heart because she thinks that having lived with her ex-husband all those years damaged her son emotionally.
I understand how difficult this situation is, and how common it is for others to express their opinions condemning Guadalupe, and who may call her a bad mother; but there are so many things involved, responsibilities and guilty parties. You can't just blame the person and the parents. It is true that each of us must take responsibility, but we must also understand the entire environment in which this young man grew up. The limitations, the unjust laws, the violence at home, the submission of his mother out of fear, the instilled religious ideas, the traumas, insecurities, and everything caused by family and social life.
Clearly, Guadalupe’s son must take responsibility and learn to take the reins of his own life. But where are the tools that a society should offer its children as they grow up? Let us remember that the home is not an isolated puzzle piece. It exists inside a social environment that forms the larger picture around it. And within all this panorama exists all the political, economic, and cultural factors that affect us.
But none of this takes away the feelings of pain and impotence, that combine to make the nights feel endless for Guadalupe as well as for her son; because a child is everything to a mother. Guadalupe suffers because she knows that her son carries in his mind and spirit each trace of his father's violence against him and against his mother. Those painful scars that cause trauma throughout one’s whole life as they carry them on their skin and in their memory. Now, apart from that suffering, they must face family separation due to their immigration status, and Guadalupe, like every mother, is heartbroken when her son calls her to ask for money to eat. Although she herself doesn't always have enough, she always finds a way to help him. “How can I leave him without money for food?” She tells me during the interview. “It's my son and it hurts, so I have to help him.”
I am sure that this will also cause controversy among people, because on the one hand there are those who understand and support her position. On the other, those who think that she is making a mistake by sending her son money to buy food. “He will use it to get high or to buy alcohol”, they will say.
Guadalupe nostalgically remembers her beloved state of Guerrero where she was born. She was 17 years old in 2001 when she immigrated to the United States. She doesn't really know why she came to this country. She was financially deprived like many other families, but she never thought of leaving her homeland. She was ordered to go by her husband, who by then was already living in the United States. Her husband’s sister had encouraged him to go to the US, and later he told Guadalupe and her son to join him there. She felt she was too young to make the journey. As she says: “I was only a girl, and I didn't know why I had to leave”. However, Guadalupe has never forgotten that her grandmother did not want her to leave and said to her: “They think that by going to the United States they are going to make a lot of money…don't go mija—stay.”
But Guadalupe left to follow her husband “as was her duty as a wife.”
When it was time to leave in search of “the American dream” Guadalupe no longer wanted to go, but her son was already on the other side, and she did not want to leave him alone with his father. So, she had to follow in his footsteps. Here, her life was no better than in Mexico, since her husband's violence continued. Over the years, Guadalupe had two more children, and she persevered until she gained the strength to turn her life around and denounce her abuser. At that time, her youngest children were six and three years old, and her oldest son twenty.
Mr. Tony
Now that she was the head of her household, Guadalupe found herself confronted with other battles. She and her children continued to stay in the house where they had already lived for almost ten years, as they had nowhere else to go. The owner, knowing that Guadalupe was now without her husband, began to harass her. Before, the man would come to collect the rent at night, and Guadalupe's ex-husband would handle it. Now, Lupe had to do it herself. The owner took advantage of the situation to intimidate her and began to sexually harass her. Guadalupe didn't know what to do to get rid of him. First, she asked the landlord, “Mr. Tony,” to pick up the rent early in the day, but he refused, saying that he couldn't because of his work schedule. He kept showing up at her door between nine and ten at night. He would come knocking hard on the door or the windows, which frightened Guadalupe and her children as it reminded them of their abusive father. So, when Mr. Tony arrived, Guadalupe would tell the children to turn off the lights and they would huddle in fear until he left.
One day Guadalupe called the owner to fix the bathroom sink, as the house had a lot of damage and needed multiple repairs that Mr. Tony never fixed. He would say that he would do it, but the day would never come; and yet the rent had to be punctual. Among the many things in a state of disrepair inside the house was a broken heater that had become a nesting place for mice. Guadalupe had already asked the owner countless times to replace it so that the family could use it during the winter, when the nights become frosty. But the heater was never repaired or replaced.
In addition, the house was also infested with cockroaches due to the humidity and the old pipes; the lights weren't working; and the kitchen sink was leaking, producing harmful mold. The paint in the house was cracking, and the front door and windows were in run-down condition; but the landlord did nothing to improve the conditions of the house. Rather, he dedicated himself to harassing her, becoming obsessed with her, and taking advantage of her vulnerability as a poor, single woman with young children. And what Lupe feared the most, he threatened to report her for being in the country without documents. He told her that if she said anything, he would deny it and it would be her word against his.
That's why she kept quiet, because she had nowhere to go, and her children needed a roof. Many times, she asked herself: “What do I do? Leave? But where?” She always ended with the same answer, that she had to stay because she had no one to turn to. And if that wasn't enough, she was paralyzed with fear. At this moment in the interview, Guadalupe looked at me unable to speak and with her eyes full of tears. I let her take her time until she was ready to move on.
“The therapist told me to report it. My neighbors and others told me the same thing.”
Lupe sat silent for a few seconds, then took a breath and continued.
“Since I had already suffered domestic violence at the hands of my husband and found the courage to denounce him, facing a situation like this once again was difficult for me.”
She looked at me, and I looked into her eyes.
“As I told you, I was very scared. I told the therapist: It's going to be my word against his, because since he has money—and you see—if you don't have money, they won’t even listen to you. And for this reason, as they say… I began to do the things that I had to do because, well this man has the money. He even told me, ‘I have money’. And the truth is that I am very scared, very scared, and at that time I said, ‘well no, I'm not going to do anything.’”
Time passed and things did not improve. Mr. Tony’s harassment of Guadalupe continued with all the impunity of knowing he was the owner, and that she was a defenseless woman. He left food for her at the door, flowers, gifts; and on her birthday, he brought her a cake. Lupe says that she threw everything in the trash, and avoided going out when he was mowing the lawn. When she had to leave to pick up her children from school, or go to work, Mr. Tony would approach her, telling her things like “she looked very good in those tight pants”; that he “liked her from the first day he saw her” and “that's why he rented the house to her.” As soon as the scoundrel saw her alone and in need, he began to harass her. For Guadalupe, it was not only annoying to listen to, it also reminded her of her ex-husband's abuse, and that depressed her. She wore leggings and shorts all the time and saw it as normal and not for the purpose of flirting with the owner or with anyone else for that matter. She was doing it just for comfort and convenience.
Guadalupe was afraid that one day the landlord would want to do something to her, so she gave him the rent money without opening the whole door, or gave it to him through the window. Mr. Tony would tell her: “Come out for a little while so I can see you.” Guadalupe replied: “It has nothing to do with me, you came for the rent.” And when she had to go out, she would take her dog with her to protect her, and the animal barked at the man if he came near Guadalupe. One day he told her angrily, “Put your dog inside!”
“Why am I going to put it inside?” She answered bravely. “He protects me, and he will remain here with me.”
Tired of being harassed by her landlord, Guadalupe sought help but couldn't find what she needed. On one occasion he met Mr. Tony’s wife, “Mrs. Irma”, and Lupe let her know what was happening. Mrs. Irma told her to report it because she was not the only one, since other women had also complained of harassment against her husband. At that time the couple was in the process of getting a divorce, and Guadalupe realized that Ms. Irma only wanted to use her, because they were fighting over the property and the rental houses were part of the fight. For this reason, Lupe told Mrs. Irma on another occasion:
“Well, I talked to all those women, and if they denounce him, I will too. But I won’t do it alone because your husband has money to pay for a lawyer, and I don’t… and I will most likely end up in Tijuana.”
Lupe was right to be suspicious. After a short time passed, the owner’s wife looked for her again to ask her not to report on Mr. Tony. Lupe thinks that they possibly reached an agreement on the properties. Ms. Irma then tried to intimidate Guadalupe so that she would not do anything further against Mr. Tony. “She told me that she is going to kick someone out of here.” She said this to Guadalupe to scare her. “Is it me that you are going to kick out?” She asked. “Tell me if it is, because I haven't done anything to get kicked out for.” And since Guadalupe felt cornered, she remained silent.
San Diego Tenants Union
One day Guadalupe was talking with her sister and told her what was happening with the owners of the house. Her sister told her about a tenants union and how they helped her, so Lupe contacted Sandra Galindo, one of the organizers of the San Diego Tenants Union San Diego (SDTU). Guadalupe told her about the history of harassment that she was experiencing with Mr. Tony, and about the poor conditions of her home. Sandra informed her about her rights as a tenant and that the harassment she was experiencing was a crime. Not only did Sandra put a stop to the harassment by Mr. Tony, but she also demanded that all the necessary repairs to the house be made immediately, or they would be taken to court. From then on, the owner stopped bothering her and began working on the repairs Lupe had previously asked for.
Additionally, the owners had refused to receive the pandemic-era aid money that the government had previously allocated for homeowners to fix up their units, and to cover the months of rent approved for tenants. This refusal raised suspicions that they may not be declaring the properties as rental housing, otherwise their position was illogical. When Sandra contacted Mrs. Irma about the matter the first time, she let her know that Guadalupe was indeed working, and that it was unfair that she did not pay the full rent. She clearly omitted the poor conditions of the house, and the harassment of Guadalupe, by her husband. And for reasons that are obvious, Mrs. Irma did not want to talk about the employment crisis that was generated during the pandemic, which affected Guadalupe and millions of others. Because this crisis had a domino effect, as it ended up seriously affecting housing costs, which have gone through the roof.
It is important to remember that Guadalupe is part of a vulnerable group, not only as a single mother and migrant, but also because for a long time she did not have the documents that would grant her legal status or a work permit that would give her peace of mind. Sadly, every day it is more difficult for people without documents to get a job, and that is a reality that is rarely talked about. These families generate a lot of money for the economy, but they barely survive, and live with the constant threat of ending up being evicted and pushed out into the streets because the owners of rental houses continue to raise prices as they please. This is capitalism, creating poverty in the masses to maintain the privilege of a few.
When Mr. Tony and Mrs. Irma began to feel the pressure from the San Diego Tenants Union, Mrs. Irma spoke to Guadalupe to find out how much she had told Sandra. She then asked her to speak with the Union, requesting that they give them more time to make the repairs. “I do want to do them, but Mr. Tony won't let me,” she defended herself.
“They had ten days”, Sandra repeated firmly. As a result, they had no choice but to invest in fixing up the house, and to accept government assistance.
For Guadalupe, learning about the union has been a blessing, as she says that if it weren't for them, she would continue to suffer harassment and abuse from the owner, like so many other women like her who suffer in silence. “I am very grateful to the union; Especially with Sandra, because as soon as she found out about my situation, she quickly helped me. She is a very brave woman who really does fight for your rights. As I told you, thanks to them I was able to get the money to pay my back rent, and breathe more easily. Mr. Tony stopped bothering me, and I am no longer afraid. Now what I need is to find a job. As I told you, I must find one where I can work in the mornings, when my children are at school. I have no one to take care of them, and well, as I already told you, my son needs to go to therapy. It has become very difficult taking care of him, because he is very affected by what happened with his father, and sometimes he is very rebellious and gets sick. How do I explain it? We are all very affected by the violence that we experience, and I did not know what to do at that moment and look now, these are the consequences. It's just that I was afraid to speak because I knew how my husband would react. But I am happy that I sought help and reported it.”
Guadalupe smiles as she looks at me. Although she is no longer worried about her ex-husband's mistreatment, or the owner's harassment and threats of Mrs. Irma, she still feels stressed. She urgently needs to find a job. She knows that the union's help has a limit, and that the government is no longer giving funds to help with rent. Lupe wants to have a secure paycheck that will provide security for her and her family, and only a full-time job can provide that.
Unfortunately, the story of Guadalupe is typical for many single women and for poor families. Therefore, being part of a movement that works collectively to achieve social and economic justice is the only way out. Organizing ourselves, raising the awareness of the conditions experienced by poor and working-class people, and developing criticism of the realities we face will give us the necessary tools to be able to fight with knowledge for justice, equity, and human respect.
Guadalupe Camarillo, 44 years old. Studied up to 9th grade. She arrived in this country in 2001, originally from Cochoapa Guerrero, Mexico. Divorced mother of three children, aged 27, 11 and 9. Tireless worker and loving mother.
Sara García Molina was born in Coyoacan, CDMX, and grew up in the border city of Tijuana. She is a self-taught writer and author of four published works. In 2001 she received a degree in Journalism from La Salle, Tijuana B.C., endorsed by the AMPE (Mexican Association of Journalists and Writers). She also belongs to the NWU (National Union of Writers of the United States), the IFJ (International Press)… and the FIF (Freelancing isn't Free). She currently resides in San Diego, CA.
